CAPITALISM’S LAST GASP

We know a lot of you folks are watching the economy going down the garbage disposal without water running and you’re thinking wait just a South End minute here.  The banks and the mortgage brokerage firms brought us to this sorry state of affairs and we’re going to give them MORE of our money?  You’re thinking maybe give them a Horse Whipping instead.

So we’re gonna help clear this up.  A little South End Macro Economics 101, 3 credit course.  Think of it like this:  The Band here goes out and leverages our holdings to get a pretty sweet percentage rate on a short term loan to make our CD’s.  We go to BigQuack Studios, tell Mark Dodge, our producer, we’re forego paying recording fees and pay instead with this hedge-yer-bet fund we got that’s bundled up each band member’s mortgage and car loans, plus their credit card debt, then sell this little commodity to investors in Smokey Point and Arlington.  We get Skeeter Daddle LLC, our in-house investment ratings outfit, to rate the South End Sring Band Ponzi Group its highest rating.

Pretty soon Conway and La Conner investment brokers are recommending us so we get more loans, make another CD even less saleable than the first, bundle IT into a new financial instrument, pay ourselves great salaries, buy ourselves new houses and vacation condos, amortize the debt and voila, Seattle and New York smell a good deal and we’re cooking with oil, foreign, domestic, who cares?  Cabin Fever, our 3rd CD, comes out, sales plummet, but our salaries bump up.  The economy is humming, everybody’s on the bandwagon, excuse the pun, and we’re in the driver’s seat.

Until the day we want to put out our Greatest Hits triple CD and WAMU won’t loan us a dime, Big Quack wants its money, the City of Stanwoodopolis goes bankrupt leaving streets after the last storms that look like the Volga River froze after the ice broke up, Asian investors get panicked …. And well, you watch it every night on the news…..

All because we couldn’t make that Greatest Hits CD!!  So we’re asking you to help restore faith in the American Capitalist System.  The South End String Band Ponzi Group is selling our greatest hits CD on 3 individual discs.  Legends in their Own Pathetic Minds, Victims of Unbridled Ambition and Cabin Fever.  15 devalued American dollars each. Or 2 for 30 or all 3 for 45.  AND !!!  we’re gonna throw in 10 shares of our hedge yer bet fund.  If it all goes the way the bank bailout did, we’ll restore investor trust and hopefully give each band member a fat little raise tomorrow.  Thank you for believing.

 

   The following fine South End mercantiles are selling our little platters. 

Snow Goose Bookstore          Camano Island Coffee Roasters

Elger Bay Store                       Seagrass Gallery

Tyee Store                               Cama Beach Store

Plaza Market Grocery              www.cdbaby.com


Hugo Helmer Music

all-cds-front-and-back1

THE TALKIES AND CONCERT FOOTAGE

http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/southend    This will take you to some sampling of the band’s first CD: Legends in Their Own Mind

http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/southend2  This will take you the band’s followup CD:  Victims of Unbridled Ambition

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0h8AlRAEug  This will give you archival footage of the band’s concert at the Camano Crab Fest

CLICK TO HEAR  angeline-the-baker-sampler-aup

CLICK TO HEAR  lost-indian-snippet

CLICK TO HEAR cripple-creek-intro

Down at the South End the winds of change blow like charged particles across the nettle fields.  Oh, I know, some folks think us old codgers are rocking away our halcyon days with a jug and a hound dog, keeping creaky cadence to our laid back lives.

But the truth is we got our antennae  pointed in the direction of the New Signals coming in, not down Saratoga Straits, but on a Wi-Fi and DSL.  You take this web radio rightchere.  A lot of folks would figure this fancy technology would whistle thru our collective ears like our brains were vacuum tubes and we expected TV on the backs of our electron fired eyeballs.  Hell, fire, man, we might be out here at the fringes of the American Archipelago on a fast drifting continental shelf racing toward sunset, but that doesn’t mean we’re isolated natives with bones in our noses snaring free range gooeyducks for dinner!

We know podcasting isn’t done with rod and reel.  We know broadband isn’t an obese fiddle group.  And we know web radio doesn’t have a dial or a crystal transistor or a D.J. with a mellifluous accentless voice.    Web radio’s just a small chunk of the digital iceberg calving off the internet glacier as Analog puddles and evaporates in the brave new world of technological warming.

So pull up a rocker and sit back a spell with us.  We’re the digital cowboys now.  The new pioneers.  Lasso up that mouse and get ready for a frontier more vast than even the old growth nettle forests of our moonshine fevered imaginations.  This is Camano Web Radio and you best buckle up for Take Off.

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